you're laying there on your bed alone,
cuddleing a pillow because no one else is there...
you get caught up in the shadows of those that left you behind, or just plain left....
you get caught up in the hope of new promises,
and the pain iof those that were broken.
YOu want what you had before,
the hapyness, the cute little seeet thoughtfull stuff....
but you don't want it to end.
you want to forget everything thsat's happened to you,
and yet you don't want to lose a moment of that history...
you're caught under a mental net that wont let you go on,
trapped under the heavy lies and despair.
YOu lay devistated by what scared you,
you still have those scars today,
they wont go away, they're permenent...
both on your mind, and you skin.
eventualy you do go mentaly numb, and eveerything is ok,
but only after falling down to the point of self destruction and self mutalation...
You want to beleive it's all not real,
but you hear the voices and you see it all the same.
You fear for your life,
but fear for others more.
YOu want so bad to just let it all out,
but doing so might cost someone their life.
YOu want to hold someone else... not this damn pillow,
but every one that'd let you is at least 20 miles away, if not more
Everything you think of seems real to you,
you're gullable.
even able to fool yourself into thinking something is real.
YOu're a virgin,
inexperienced,
although people tell you you look good, you don't want to beleive them...
you're inteligent, but you havr no clue who you are or why you hurt yourself so much,
you want it all to stop.
you want something new to push out everything else.
YOu want to be fixed...
so your heart can open up again...
and you can finally get out of your damn shell...
and if you really are like this,
you're me.